This blog is meant to serve as a platform to open conversation about growth and give a glimpse into my life.

honestly speaking

April 13, 2017

The unknown thing when you don’t say a thing. 


Humans are complex creatures. Not only do we use tools and directly interact with the world through advanced communication (“advanced” is relative, I suppose) and physical cuing, we also have the ability to make decisions that are beneficial and sometimes detrimental to ourselves. It is a beautiful thing to be a human being, but golly it is complicated. 


At the most simple form of understanding, being human is complicated because we communicate with ourselves  (some of us more than others) in order to justify ethical vs non-ethical situations, use critical thinking to break down multilayered problems, and rationally dissect our many forms of emotions. In our own minds, we face thousands of decisions from waking to sleeping and often times even in our dreams. How on earth we get anything done in a given day is beyond me, let alone when we add another person to the mix.


Relationships are intricate mazes. If you can get past the millions of conversations happening in your own little cabeza (head), now consider what it is like to interact with another person who has the same processes happening. You both are getting fed thought from verbal communication, external cuing, as well as physical cuing. You both then quickly dissect that information, mill it around in your mind, rub it up against your current state of emotional being, and produce a response which feeds the former party with all of the same cues that you were given to begin with. This happens rapidly and, when acted upon hastily and irrationally (using negative and not neutral emotional attachments), can lead to destructive behavior. To top it all off, we humans have the power to be dishonest. If at any point in this complex structure of communication you are not honest with yourself and/or the other party involved, you will have misguided the total trajectory of all communication that follows and have added yet another layer to the mess. 


Communication is hard and, yet, it is the foundation for self growth and growth within relationships. 


I am not a mind reader. I have learned, through extensive and usually painful trial and error, that speaking my mind directly is best for all parties involved — whether good or bad, don’t be afraid to tell people around you what is on your mind; ask for a raise because you deserve it, tell someone you love them, tell someone they bother you for so and so reasons, apologize to someone — whatever you want to say, just fucking say it. 

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